“I never ask a wounded person how he feels; I myself become the wounded person.” Walt Whitman in Paper Lanterns.
When I was in eighth grade, my middle school principal asked me a very specific question – a question I have never forgotten.. He had a habit of dropping into classrooms unannounced and chatting with students. It was intimidating to be singled out for his questions. It was just the two of you – the principal and you before the whole class. When he called your name, you stood in his presence and waited for his question of the day.
On that day in particular I was at the chalkboard, at the request of my teacher, to explain how to solve what I then considered a very difficult math problem. So I was struggling with the math when Mr. Klein (name changed on purpose) very quietly entered the classroom and silently watched me as I nervously tried to explain the method and reasoning behind my solution. I was fairly confident I had arrived at the correct answer but my explanation apparently did not satisfy Mr. Klein’s understanding of my methodology.
His first question was direct and to the point – “Mr. Hutchison, are you certain that you have solved the problem correctly?” So I went for the gold., “Yes sir I am sure of my answer.” Mr. Klein shot back, “Are you certain enough of your answer that you would bet your life on your work and your solution? Would you bet your life on your thinking and your conclusion?”
Mr. Klein expected an answer. He wasn’t leaving until he heard my answer. “Yes sir, this is the right answer.” He turned to the classroom teacher who was taking great pleasure in seeing me on the hot seat (the reasons for that will be the subject of another blog post someday) and asked her, “Is Mr. Hutchison’s answer and his explanation correct? She too, was intimidated by the principal so she spoke in a low, subservient way – “Yes Mr. Klein, the answer and his explanation are correct.”
I thought I was off the hook – question asked and answered. I had firmly stood my ground before the principal. He was no match for me. I was just about to sit down at my desk when the principal came to my side and looked me straight in the eye. “Mr. Hutchison, you quickly agreed to bet your life that you had the correct answer. What if you had been wrong, with the wrong answer and the wrong explanation? Would you have kept your word and given up your life?”
Mr. Klein continued, “Here is a question I want you to seriously consider today, and as you grow older. What do you value enough that you would willingly sacrifice your life for it?” This was a rhetorical question as he continued without expecting me to answer this question. “Life is so very precious and you ought to be clear about the things for which you would sacrifice your one life,” Mr. Klein said. “So listen again to my question – what do you value so much that you would willingly sacrifice your life for it?’ He paused and then went on to explain – “greater love has no man than to lay down his life for a friend.” He asked me to repeat what he had just said – “greater love has no man than to lay down his life for a friend.”
I never forgot Mr. Klein’s question concerning what I valued enough to willingly, intentionally, sacrifice my life. And I never forgot what he said next, what I found out later was a scriptural reference – “greater love has no man than to lay down his life for a friend.” Later on in my life, I have studied that scripture and its context.
You and I meet people every day who are wounded in one way or the other – wounded in mind, body, or spirit. It is part of my being, insofar as I can, to help soothe the wounds and to offer what healing I can, to those who are wounded. Healing begins when we offer our presence to those who are suffering in any way. Healing begins when the wounded, suffering one knows that he or she is valued by another person – a person who is willing to be a companion on the road to healing, to the end of suffering.
It is a far cry from laying down my life for another to show one who is wounded some kindness and compassion. Every life should have a noble purpose. Mr. Klein, so many years ago, helped me define the noble purpose I have chosen. What do you value so much that you would willingly sacrifice your life? As you ponder that question – do all the good you can for as long as you can. Be a healer. Take on the wounds of another so that you and the other person can both be healed.