Starting Over
I am reminded of the story, The Lady and the Tiger, in which a commoner falls in love with a beautiful princess and she with him. The King is none too happy with this turn of events. His daughter was destined for a better arrangement. And so, the King devised a test of the commoner’s character.
Please forgive me, but at this point, I have to alter the narrative of the original story as well as the details of the test the King proposed, because the details of the story are a bit sketchy. My memory of that childhood story isn’t crisp. Suffice it to say the test involved something like this: the commoner was led out to a clearing and put in front of two identical looking doors.
The commoner was informed that behind one door was a very savage and hungry tiger. Behind the other door was the princess. The King ordered the commoner to choose one of the two doors. If it was the tiger, well that was that. If, however, the commoner chose the princess, the King agreed to condone the union. The outcome of the story was never in doubt.
Why do I use this story as my lead to this post? I am 69 and just re-retired. I have had some new health concerns that have resulted in limited mobility and hence have affected my choice of activities to keep me busy in retirement. For instance, it has snowed recently so being outside has become even more treacherous because of the chance of falling on the snow and ice. This isn’t the retirement I had always hoped for.
My metaphoric choice of doors
So, I am standing in front of my own set of metaphoric doors. Instead of the tiger behind the first door, I will be attacked by despair, melancholy, depression, and just plain feeling sorry for myself. Behind the other door, I will have my own version of living happily ever after and finding a new purpose and new direction for my life, using all the other gifts and blessings available to me. For instance, I am still able to think, I can write, I can dream, I can volunteer to assist others in ways that do not require great physical exertion – on and on.
I can do research for fellow authors, I can stay active in several writing groups to which I belong – the list of possibilities seems endless. So this alternative choice, this door would be a great choice. The outcome of the story was never in doubt.
I have re-invented myself several times before.
I have re-invented myself several times before. I morphed from college to being employed by a bank on Wall Street. Parenthetically that bank, Chemical Bank, was subsumed into one of the megabanks that has survived all these years.
One evening, commuting back to New Jersey from my office in New York City, I realized hustling new business for a bank for the next 40 years wasn’t for me. Soon after that epiphany, I was offered the opportunity to teach at an independent day school. For the next 20 years or so, I taught, coached, and counseled a variety of kids and adults. I even took a shot at heading an independent school or two.
Fate intervened. Due to surgery to remove a brain tumor (my first real confrontation with the concept of immortality), I found myself with time to reflect on my life up to that point. That reflection led to the vocation that has been my life for the last 18 years. I have been serving as a pastor to several United Methodist churches. Once again, health issues arose and hastened my retirement from parish ministry.
So here I am at 69
So here I am at 69, retired and operating at a level of activity that isn’t what I had hoped for. I am standing in front of the two doors I described above. Behind one door is the savage and ravenous tiger of dashed hopes; behind the other door is life spent sharing my love, while being surrounded by people, places, and activities that bring incredible happiness. The outcome of the story was never in doubt.
No matter which door is chosen, it’s always a tiger. One way or another. Yes, your gracious comment appeared. Thank you for taking the time.
Interesting reply about the choice always being a tiger. I am going to ponder that comment of yours. Thanks for taking the time to read the post. I am working on a multi-part blog post. I will be interested, as always, in what you think.
Laying with a tiger can also be helpful in the role of eventual peaceful coexistence. So metaphorically I see the two doors as opportunity knocking.(pun intended) Regardless of whatever infirmaties might plague us, I see you making contributions moving forward as long as you can think, care, and love. I’ll leave it up to you to choose the order.
Thanks Cliff. I think engaging with the tiger will always be my second choice.