Ever have a thought come to mind and not know where it came from or where it was going to lead you? That happened to me today. What was I going to do with my nagging thought? It would not leave me alone.
When I was a little kid, (defined as the years between my 5th and 13th birthdays), I used to play outdoors most of the time. Why I preferred outdoors to playing at home is a story for another time. I was never bored outside and everything seemed new to me. I couldn’t wait to walk through the woods behind my home, blazing a new trail to a friend’s house or finding a new spot for a weekend “campout”. I never worried about time. As long as I was home for lunch and dinner, I was pretty much on my own. I learned a great deal by paying attention to everything I encountered. I kept a notebook to record the especially interesting encounters.
While at college, I continued my habit of getting outdoors as much as possible. I would take hikes in the fall and spring and cross-country ski in the winters. Attending school in a rural part of upstate New York, there was no shortage of places to explore. Sometimes I’d find streams or rivers to canoe, sometimes mountains to climb, sometimes hidden trails to ski. Sometimes I would invite a friend or a date. Sometimes I just needed to get away by myself. My roommate and I used to “hitch” rides from campus to Canada (about 30 miles away). One memorable trip was hitching from the campus to Ottawa, then to Montreal and back to campus, all in two and a half days. My roommate was a better hitcher than I because he trusted folks a lot more than I did.
Again, when I was outdoors, I was never bored and I never worried about time. Perhaps I should have worried a bit more but I figured when else would I have the absolute freedom to wander, especially after I left college.
Time was irrelevant. There was so much more to consider than time.
I realized today that I am not as care-free with my time as I used to be. I worry about time and deadlines and about finishing chores. I can’t remember the last time I went for a walk with no purpose other than enjoying the experience as it unfolded.
Time has become a distraction and an irritant to my enjoyment of life. This was the thought that snuck up on me today.
The “serendipity” part of my thought provoking moment was just as I was starting to succumb to the darker side of the thought that time was/is a distraction and was keeping me from full enjoyment of life, I stopped to read a quick meditation. The meditation is from a book entitled, The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living, by Ryan Holiday. Let me offer this brief passage from today’s reading –
At the end of your time on this planet, what expertise is going to be more valuable – your understanding of matters of living and dying or your knowledge of the ’87 Bears? Which will help your children more – your insight into happiness and meaning, or that you followed breaking political news every day for thirty years?
I realize I keep losing my way as I am distracted by spending time considering things of fleeting value. Time is my nemesis because it takes me away from the joy of discovery – the joy I had both as a young kid and a college student. Somewhere on my journey to become a responsible grownup, I stopped noticing the small things, the seemingly insignificant things found while exploring with no destination in mind.
As a kid and college student, life’s purpose was to wander and to wonder. Now as an adult, life’s journeys seem like obligations, seem like requirements to be completed. Spontaneity has been replaced with consistent and appropriate behavior marking me as a responsible, trustworthy adult.
But today’s meditation reminded me that every life should have a noble purpose, not just mundane momentum, and the power and promise of hope can still lure me outdoors to renewed wandering and renewed wondering. It’s all up to me. The choice is, just as it always has been, between new experience and knowledge or being distracted by things that diminish my journey. It’s all up to me.
So true that as adults we forget many simple joys as we focus on adult responsibilities. I agree that many of these things are really not very important in the long run. But how do we keep this from happening as we are so influenced by society? Thank you for the reminder!
I keep remembering the difference between being childish and childlike. I aim for the simple joy of childlike. Thank you for your comment and for taking the time to read my post.