Waiting for a Solution

“We started from scratch, every American an immigrant who came because he wanted change. Why are we now afraid to change?” Eleanor Roosevelt.

“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.” C.JoyBell C.

We all start somewhere in life, and at some point, we all have an end. For most folks, we go through various stages: childhood, teen years, our 20’s, 30’s and so forth and then we die. Why we move from stage to stage is a bit of a mystery to me.

For me, I moved from place to place, time to time, experience to experience because of nagging questions such as – how high are the Rocky Mountains, what’s it like to travel through Europe by train, do I want to marry this or that person, can I handle a promotion, would I be a better teacher than a 9-5 banker. I had to discover the answers to these questions.

I changed because the world around me offered me questions to which I sought answers.

To some of my friends and acquaintances, I am sure it appeared I was never really serious and committed to any one thing. Today, I admit my friends were right. As I was going through my life stages I never committed to anything. Yes, I have been and I am still curious about all sorts of things. I try them out till I am fully certain that given time, I could master the challenges of a particular new opportunity or job or skill. Then I move on to something else – all because I am not committed to the challenges. I am satisfied knowing that I could master the opportunities before me. I went from almost failing out of college to the Dean’s List, from working on Wall Street to teaching in a private school, to running a private school, to becoming a United Methodist Clergy person. Just moved from opportunity to opportunity, from degree to degree, from recommendation to recommendation.

Change happened by chance – a whim. I was curious about what was ahead of me, disinterested by what was alongside me, bored with what I had accomplished in the past. Change, for me, was for the sake of change – to keep from becoming bored with myself and uninteresting to others. It was my call.

TODAY’S CALL TO CHANGE

Change marched to my tempo, my time, my initiation. Now, however, change is being forced on me – the pandemic and its many constraints, the economy, irrational violence, distrust, factionalism, hunger, poverty, political gridlock, on and on the list goes. Life is invading my space, forcing me to change even though I am not all that eager to change at this point in my life. I deserve a rest. To be honest, I am afraid of the change that is being forced on me.

But the hope in all of this resides in the two quotes above. To paraphrase, our ancestors all came here because they wanted to change. They were not afraid of change. Perhaps I should stop being afraid of change. Letting go of what I have may make room for something I didn’t know I needed to explore. There are oceans I have never seen, mountains I have never climbed, people I have never met. They hold the future, my future. I have to change. I have to embrace change. There will be plenty of time for that rest I think I deserve.

I have faith that the troubles of this world are not really worth considering. My time ought to be spent on discovering new challenges. I can still face change unafraid and trust with my whole heart that harmony and ONENESS have not left the building. It’s time for me to stop being afraid. It’s time to trust in the power and promise of hope.

“Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.”

The Real Power of Why

“The key to wisdom is this- constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting we are led to questions, by questioning we arrive at the truth.” Peter Abelard

The power of WHY lies in where the WHY question leads. It may lead to truth as Abelard suggests, but there may be an even greater use for the question WHY.

Image by Sambeet D from Pixabay

Many of us remember in our youth pestering our parents for the answers to our endless questions. Questions ranged from the esoteric “why is the sky blue?” to the practical, “why do I have to go to bed now?” Most of the time, my parents assented to my questions and attempted to give me satisfactory, if not complete, answers to the question – WHY?

But the real power of WHY lies in what occurs when the final answer we receive starts with “because I said so.” I can remember coming home one day and asking my mom if I could try out for the Pop Warner footbal team in our town. My mom’s immediate answer was “NO!” Then it began. “I asked why not?” My mom answered, “I think you might do better in another sport.” I shot back, “But why?” To make a long story short (and because I am certain you have had similar question and answer exchanges with your parents or another figure of influence), the inevitable response from my mom was spoken – “because I said so.” That was the end of the conversation. I dared not venture into questioning my mom any further. She had spoken.

I could not exist as a middle school-aged kid without more satisfaction from the questions I put to my mother and others. So the next time my mom and I got to the “because I said so” statement, I pushed it just a bit farther. In response to “because I said so,” I added another question, “what about my opinion?” My mom stared at me in disbelief. I had gone beyond the protocols, the boundaries she had set for our conversations. At first, my mom said, “because I said so and I am your mother.” I added the now familiar but ineffective “but all of my friends are doing… you don’t trust me, you don’t love me, you don’t care what my friends say about me.” I tried all of those lines of questioning seeking a stable rhetorical foothold so I could go beyond “because I am your mother and I said so.”

That’s when my mother stopped me in my tracks as she said, “because I love you and I don’t want to see you hurt.” Her answer to not letting me play Pop Earner Footfall was that she loved me and did not want me to get hurt. The hurt my mom was trying to keep me from was not only physical hurt but “psychic hurt” as the older kids would inevitably bully me because of my slight size and weight. She knew this, I didn’t yet.

What I eventually discovered in questioning adults, parents, teachers, coaches, ministers, and others who possessed some form of authority and power over me was their specific reason behind the “because I said so” response. My mother loved me, my teachers only wanted the best for and from me, my coaches wanted to challenge me, ministers wanted me to understand compassion, authority figures wanted to be certain I did not limit myself by breaking laws or local customs.

I learned the real power of WHY was in the conversations I had with folks who took the time and effort to help me understand growing up. When their concern was built upon love, or educating me, our helping me perform at a more skillful level, or making certain my choices in the future weren’t limited by serious past deeds, I realized these folks wished me no harm or to needlessly restrict or reign me in. Folks who go beyond “BECAUSE I SAID SO” and helped me see their honest concerns were the folks I would end up trusting and believing.

I came to understand that every decision my mother made concerning me was because of love. I did not always agree with her and it usually took some time before I saw the truth and the love behind her decisions and advice. Additionally, I ended up experiencing many of my teachers who attempted to challenge me to learn, to question, to think critically in whatever interests came along. Even on the rare occasion that I did something bone-headed and had the police bring me home to my parents, the police just wanted me to see the effects of my choices, within the confines, protections, and guarantees of the law.

The real power of why is that simple word WHY helps one discern who can be trusted and believed. It helps one discern the true motives and agendas of those whose jobs are to help us grow in mind, body, and spirit. To this day, when I meet someone who is willing to explain (and show) their concern for me, the genuineness of their concern becomes the foundation for new friendships and new insight.

The real power of WHY is teaching one how to trust so that in the end we can discern the truth just as Peter Abelard suggeted in the openiong quote.

Let someone know the truth behind your “because I said so” answers. Let them find in you a new and faithful friend who can be trusted and who can be believed.

POST SCRIPT – this post seems so naive and out of place in today’s world. Nowadays, when someone doesn’t like an aswer to their question, rather than seeking greater understanding between two points of view seeking to reconcile themselves, they go off without having experienced trust or new perspective, without perhaps finding a new trustworthy friend who seeks only the common good of all the folks involved. It seems easier these days to battle one another than to do the hard work of developing trust and understanding. I wish this were not so.

Becoming the Healer

Image by skeeze from Pixabay

“I never ask a wounded person how he feels; I myself become the wounded person.” Walt Whitman in Paper Lanterns.

When I was in eighth grade, my middle school principal asked me a very specific question – a question I have never forgotten.. He had a habit of dropping into classrooms unannounced and chatting with students. It was intimidating to be singled out for his questions. It was just the two of you – the principal and you before the whole class. When he called your name, you stood in his presence and waited for his question of the day.

On that day in particular I was at the chalkboard, at the request of my teacher, to explain how to solve what I then considered a very difficult math problem. So I was struggling with the math when Mr. Klein (name changed on purpose) very quietly entered the classroom and silently watched me as I nervously tried to explain the method and reasoning behind my solution. I was fairly confident I had arrived at the correct answer but my explanation apparently did not satisfy Mr. Klein’s understanding of my methodology.

His first question was direct and to the point – “Mr. Hutchison, are you certain that you have solved the problem correctly?” So I went for the gold., “Yes sir I am sure of my answer.” Mr. Klein shot back, “Are you certain enough of your answer that you would bet your life on your work and your solution? Would you bet your life on your thinking and your conclusion?”

Mr. Klein expected an answer. He wasn’t leaving until he heard my answer. “Yes sir, this is the right answer.” He turned to the classroom teacher who was taking great pleasure in seeing me on the hot seat (the reasons for that will be the subject of another blog post someday) and asked her, “Is Mr. Hutchison’s answer and his explanation correct? She too, was intimidated by the principal so she spoke in a low, subservient way – “Yes Mr. Klein, the answer and his explanation are correct.”

I thought I was off the hook – question asked and answered. I had firmly stood my ground before the principal. He was no match for me. I was just about to sit down at my desk when the principal came to my side and looked me straight in the eye. “Mr. Hutchison, you quickly agreed to bet your life that you had the correct answer. What if you had been wrong, with the wrong answer and the wrong explanation? Would you have kept your word and given up your life?”

Mr. Klein continued, “Here is a question I want you to seriously consider today, and as you grow older. What do you value enough that you would willingly sacrifice your life for it?” This was a rhetorical question as he continued without expecting me to answer this question. “Life is so very precious and you ought to be clear about the things for which you would sacrifice your one life,” Mr. Klein said. “So listen again to my question – what do you value so much that you would willingly sacrifice your life for it?’ He paused and then went on to explain – “greater love has no man than to lay down his life for a friend.” He asked me to repeat what he had just said – “greater love has no man than to lay down his life for a friend.”

I never forgot Mr. Klein’s question concerning what I valued enough to willingly, intentionally, sacrifice my life. And I never forgot what he said next, what I found out later was a scriptural reference – “greater love has no man than to lay down his life for a friend.” Later on in my life, I have studied that scripture and its context.

You and I meet people every day who are wounded in one way or the other – wounded in mind, body, or spirit. It is part of my being, insofar as I can, to help soothe the wounds and to offer what healing I can, to those who are wounded. Healing begins when we offer our presence to those who are suffering in any way. Healing begins when the wounded, suffering one knows that he or she is valued by another person – a person who is willing to be a companion on the road to healing, to the end of suffering.

It is a far cry from laying down my life for another to show one who is wounded some kindness and compassion. Every life should have a noble purpose. Mr. Klein, so many years ago, helped me define the noble purpose I have chosen. What do you value so much that you would willingly sacrifice your life? As you ponder that question – do all the good you can for as long as you can. Be a healer. Take on the wounds of another so that you and the other person can both be healed.

Planning the Day

“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” E.B. White

I prefer a third option – my desire is to experience the world. I am too old to think much about improving the world. I don ‘t have many years left. Improving the world is a young person’s activity. Young people (anyone under 40 years old) still believe in their ability to plan a world according to the basic tenets of humankind – good and evil. I remain hopeful that good will triumph, but looking at our planet’s history of attempts at goodness I am not encouraged. Good intentions and hope-filled actions are almost always interrupted by darker forces – war, poverty, injustice, greed, pettiness, etc. Can you think of any time when good triumphed? As a Christian, I was brought up to believe that when Jesus comes back, goodness will reign supreme for eternity. But that hasn’t happened yet. Jesus’ last foray into sharing goodness with folks didn’t end so well so I have some doubts that the next time might end differently.

And one has to be completely immune to the news to believe one can enjoy the world. We are constantly bombarded with endless news cycles laying out for us the pain and suffering, the nihilism, the selfishness, and misunderstanding among folks who don’t seem to be enjoying each other’s company. It’s not just rich v poor, republican v democrat, all the common binary choices we are given to consider. It is the fundamental theme, I believe that you and I cannot enjoy the world because no one seems to know how to enjoy anything these days. The pandemic of 2020 makes enjoyment that much tougher. And these days, if I am caught enjoying most anything I am called horrible names describing my lack of understanding of, and compassion for, the oppression and marginalization of so many categories of people and situations. I am asked how I can enjoy the world when so many are suffering, are kept down, are disregarded, not seen as mattering.

So I am choosing all that’s left for me. I am choosing to experience the world. I choose to take in all that my senses can stand. I choose to engage fully with all points of view, reserving judgment, and condemnation as someone else’s right to decide. I choose to experience and observe everything around me. Some days there is horror, some days utter beauty and simplicity. Some days people are remarkably good, some days they turn on each other with venomous actions.

I am rejecting binary choices – good/bad, rich/poor, matters/doesn’t matter, useful/wasteful. No more drama, no more judgment, just jumping in to experience the world and wonder how it all fits together. You see when I am experiencing the world rather than improving or enjoying it, I get to choose the standards, the values, the definitions I use to describe what I experience in the world. I get to filter everything I experience through the lenses of the things I hold dear.

My filters are these: hope, noble purpose, compassion, easing suffering, giving, beauty, truth, justice, and several others close to my heart. So whatever the news I read or see or hear, I filter it through those virtues. Suddenly I find hope, I see folks doing kind, noble things for others, I see goodness in all that I experience. This is my choice – to experience the world through my values. That’s my plan.

A side benefit is that I find myself praying for the world to be touched by folks bent on improving it and I am encouraged by those who are finding they can enjoy the world. Me, I just experience the world according to what I hold dear. I try to live by three simple maxims paraphrased from John Wesley: do no harm, do all the good you can, find occasions to thank the world for not giving up on me, on us. That’s my plan for tomorrow. Have a great week, improving, enjoying, or experiencing the world. Find your own peace of mind.

Where Are You Running?

“All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.” James Thurber

As you know the tag line of my blog is “Every life should have a noble purpose.” How we find that purpose and then act accordingly is one of the keys to a fulfilling time on earth. So many of us, myself included, just go along with whatever comes our way. We allow ourselves to be directed by all sorts of people and events who shape our destiny.

It is the lucky person who realizes, regardless of what others want for our lives, we are ultimately the one who decides our fate. We learn to adapt and improvise, to overcome and flourish in life. No one knows what waits around the bend. No one should linger too long in any situation that does not affirm and nurture one’s sense of self and one’s noble purpose.

How do we decide our path?

We are the sum of all the things we value. One person values honesty and integrity, another self-interest, and control. These values, most probably, will lead to different purposes and actions. So the first question to ask yourself is – what do you value? Look for values that will form the foundation of your being. Study those you admire – read biographies and autobiographies to uncover the values and traits of those folks in whom you see a noble purpose.

Second, how do you transfer your values and purposes into meaningful actions? Do you commit your whole life to serve others, to lessen the suffering of others? What are you determined to do with your life? For what do you want to be remembered? What’s your five-year or ten-year plan? What is your measurement of “success”?

Finally, answer these three “guides”: what are you running from? What are you running to, and why are you running at all? My answers to these questions are: I am running from selfishness and a life without compassion for others. Second, I am running to that place where I can understand and use all my talents to ease the suffering of others. And third, I am running because I believe every life should have a noble purpose – a purpose that demonstrates the power and promise of hope. My purpose is to spread hope into the lives of all those I meet.

Surround yourself with people you admire. Learn about them, question them, listen to their stories of hope, and finding purpose. We are all great teachers and we are all potential students. Teach and learn. A rough paraphrase of the words of one who I admire is this – preach faith until you find your faith. So, decide what you value and then go at it until that value-laden life is yours.

How will you know if you have succeeded? That’s what a heart is for. Be to others what you most want to be for yourself. We all start at the same place and we end at the same place. Develop your hope in the time you have between those two markers.

Return to Normal

Hope never fails

Four years ago, I began writing a blog with the tag line, “The Power and Promise of Hope.” Things have changed radically since that first post. Today, as I return to blogging I am driven to redouble my faith in the power and promise of hope.

To have confidence in hope in 2020 is an act of faith to be sure. But what else have we? Alan Keightley quoted in Paper Lanterns – More Quotations from the Back Pages of The Sun wrote, “Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.”

You see for several months I have been overwhelmed with the news surrounding “current events”. Covid-19, protests, and marches. violence, civil unrest, being held captive in my own home unable to travel freely, or to enjoy a quiet meal with friends in a favorite restaurant. This is the world I am being forced to experience. This is what is passing now for “normal.” This is the world I am told to experience day after day.

I have come to realize and believe there is another way to view the world, to interact with the world, through the power and promise of hope. I am re-discovering an all-encompassing sense of hope. From where does my hope originate? My hope comes from my childhood memories. I remember hard-working parents who instilled in me a desire to be independent while never overlooking the needs of others. I remember friendly competition with my siblings as we grew to understand and appreciate one another. I remember lessons learned in church as well as lessons learned in school. I was fortunate to hear similar messages no matter where I was – do your best, help those who are in need, contribute to the common good.

I understand I am indeed fortunate to be able to recall these memories and these lessons. Others have not been so blessed. I cannot, however, squander or dismiss what I have experienced. I can only live each day in hope.

I hope we get a chance to create and live in a world of our own choosing, a world we can share with others guided by common values and virtues. I hope we will find more moments that unite us rather than divide us. I hope we will have the courage to speak to those who expect us to experience the world they have created for us – a world that is not demanding the best of human nature.

My faith tells me to do three things: 1) do no harm, 2) do all the good that I can, and 3) to stay in awe of the life set out for us by our Creator. We were created to experience a new world based on nurturing and affirming the best attributes of our shared humanity.

In my head, I keep hearing a song sung by the Youngbloods so many years ago. Let me end with one of the stanzas from that song and the chorus well known to so many.

“If you hear the song I sing you will understand (Listen) . You hold the key to love and fear all in your trembling hand. Just one key unlocks them both, it’s there at your command.

Come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together try to love one another now.”

That’s my hope. That’s the world I am going to find.

Re-Starting My Blogsite

It is time for me to get back to blogging. Most of you have been subscribers before and I hope you will rekindle your interest in my posts. As of now, I hope to post new items each Monday, beginning with this post. Thanks for your readership.

For now, just welcome back. My posts will continue to center around my theme – “The Power and Promise of Hope.” For now, let it suffice to say we all need to believe in hope. Please remember, “Every life should have a noble purpose.” May we all strive to ease the suffering of others as we share with them our commitment to hope.

Giving In To Melancholy

 

Giving In to Melancholy

Blame it on the rain, the first appearance of frost, the cold descent into winter.  No matter how I try to fight it, I can’t shake the feeling that my time is slowly slipping away.  Seasons come and go, cycle after cycle.  It seems I have no other path to travel but to wander back in my mind to summers that have come and gone.

I am trying to grasp hold of the comfortable and comforting.  The past is the place where I find memories of when the future seemed exciting and so full of hope.  But the past is not always helpful.

Certainly, I have great memories, but they are just memories, I can’t touch them even though they can touch me.  The only place I can grasp hold of hope is in the future.  That’s where I am heading this morning.

I wonder what I am hoping to find as I start this too familiar journey of introspection.  I hope for a sense that the days ahead of me are full of life.  My seventy-year-old body forces me to make exceptions and compromises.  I hope I can fully embrace that challenge.  My mind is, however, operating like that of an innocent twenty-year-old-full of hope but short of wisdom.

I hope to make new friends this time around.  I also hope to re-kindle conversation with old friends and to offer words of hope and encouragement to those who are seeking their own meaning and hope.  The trouble with retirement and with my limited mobility is that I am compelled to develop new habits, new expectations, new meaning.  I don’t know how eager I am to go through this.

I meet on Tuesdays and Wednesdays with two groups of folks who are my sounding board and my affirmation.  They challenge me in ways which they may not be aware of.  Their insights and observations touch me at a deep, personal level, all of which I do not fully share or for which I seldom offer adequate thanks to these special folks.  Each one of them holds a special place in my heart and in my private thoughts.

One thing I hope for is the courage to share my thanks with these folks.  Too often I am cavalier and selfish with my thanks.  They deserve more.  Friends, old and new, deserve better.

As I go forward, I hope for the strength to share and the compassion to give back what I have received from these friends of mine.  I miss them when I cannot be with them.  I will miss them when we move south.

Tuesday and Wednesday are coming once again.  Here’s my chance to be the kind of friend to those folks that they have been for me.  Maybe that’s where I will find warmth in the winter fast approaching.  Here is my tangible source of hope.

Robert Louis Stevenson said, “To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.”  I am grateful for all those who open up doors of understanding,  guiding me to become what I may be capable of.

I hope I can return the favor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Rant

Obfuscate – render obscure, unclear or unintelligible, bewilder. (The New Oxford American Dictionary).
Root Cause Analysis. Root cause analysis is a collective term that describes a wide range of approaches, tools, and techniques used to uncover causes of problems.
The Five Whys – Why Do I Want To Do This?

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As One Week Ends

As One Week Ends

As this week ends, I have been thinking about the following questions.  How would you answer them?  Are you OK with what you answered?

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